What is common in politicians and diapers? The new way of forgetting your past is deleting your chats.

Obsessed with travel?

Never let your friends alone. There will be no actual effort on my part, l just intend to be perceived as such.".

Status, Captions & Quotes for Facebook, Whatsapp & Instagram. Facebook is kind of like a prison.

You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared! A broad smile is a cooler way of showing your enemies that you have teeth.

Facebook is where hypocrisy, falseness, double standards, rumors, and depression meet up for coffee.

For once I would like to get kicked into a bar, please!

Smile While You Still Have Teeth. Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk. Unless you’re a serial killer.
People don’t want the ugly truth, they would prefer a beautiful lie. All of this funny Facebook status and funny Facebook quotes has a variety of use. Facebook is still a blessing. If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button. Shopping is an art. If you fail to convince, try to confuse them. Children in the back seat cause accidents, accidents in the back seat cause children!

Btw, I'm always looking for new pages to add to Post Planner's Viral Photos library. If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego and jump down to your IQ level. You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity. On the right side, there is nothing left.

Sometimes I sleep more than 9 hours in one go. You should try it once.

I am not 40 years old, as I am only 18 with 22 years of experience.

California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. What can you do to promote world peace?

I went outside once, the graphics were ok, but the gameplay sucks! Whenever you need some funny Facebook status lines to make funny Facebook posts or funny status updates these funny Facebook quotes will help you the most. Aug 30, 2020 - Explore The Writers Cookies's board "Funny Twitter Posts" on Pinterest. Thanks to Facebook, I now know what everyone’s bathroom looks like!

I am still wondering how my parents spent their first part of life teaching us to walk and talk and the other half trying to sit us down and shut up.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problem, but neither does milk. Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter!

If I don’t log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must’ve kidnapped me! Crying?

Looking for funny pics to post on Facebook? I knew I was ahead of my time. 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is stupid. Not everyone wants to see you happy. I’m wondering why logging onto Facebook has become a part of the everyday routine?… Do I really have nothing better to do! The only reason why 30 guys liked your picture is that they can see right down your shirt. Cheezburger. Paul likes animals. It’s like a normal shower but with me in it.

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Grab a tissue. I love being married. My girlfriend and I are inseparable. Without candy crush, I am a kid with no candy.

Because I’m 100% participating in that!! Can’t face me?

Life is short, smile while you still have teeth.

No surprise there. If nobody hates U, then you are doing something boring. It’s okay if you don’t like me.

My relationship is like an iPad. Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain. Why do stores have a lock on their doors although they are open 24/7? Whether they like it or not. This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog!

Funny Facebook Status: This is the best ever post of Funny Facebook Status for all the Facebook users out there.

I did the math.

Accept who you are.

Love is a long sweet dream & marriage is an alarm clock. Google is for my mind, anti-virus should be installed for my heart. Here we have compiled some of the best and humorous quotes as the new funny status that you will love to post on your Facebook profile.
Never challenge a guy to an arm-wrestling match who’s been single for more than 6 months. Who needs television when you have so much drama on Facebook. Stop advertising your relationship on Facebook. If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.

Good morning people of my country, tell me, what are we offended by today? Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams. Facebook is like a prison because you write on its walls. Facebook should have a “No One Cares” button. Turn around. Frequency 10 posts / dayAlso in Funny Blogs, Satire Blogs Website theonion.com Facebook fans 6.5M ⋅ Twitter followers 11.6M ⋅ Instagram Followers 2.9M ⋅ Social Engagement 4.3K ⋅ Domain Authority 86 ⋅ Alexa Rank

I won’t block you or delete you.

Friends call it teamwork. I liked my neighbors until they put a new password on their Wi-Fi. You spend all day staring at walls and getting poked by people you don’t know.

As long as cocoa beans grow on trees, chocolate is fruit to me.

", Ugly jewelry game (usually the guests Google for jewelry images), Engagement post #lularoe #engagement #interactive #cookie #lularoekathywentz, Someone posted a whisper, which reads "What's something you wish everybody knew about you?

It’s spam. I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me! 25 Times Tumblr Was Completely And Absurdly Funny "I’ve decided to be sexier in 2020.

Also, you can use these funny Facebook statuses for your selfies, profile pictures and funny Caption for Facebook. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. Thx Funny videos 2020 like My page Doctors checked my brain.

When I find the key to success, someone will alter the lock. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! These are funny pics that REALLY went viral on

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